….in which I completely panic

I’m freaking out.

I found out yesterday that I’m to be the key figure in terms of communication, administrative/organizational management and upkeep of a Pan-Canadian psychiatric network initiative that my boss is spearheading.

….BUT THIS IS JUST MY DAY JOB!!!!!!!

The inner three-year old in me is looking at this mess of documents and correspondence and throwing a complete tantrum. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I DON’T WANNA LET ME GO HOME I HATE YOU WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH GIVE ME A COOKIE!!”

…. like yeah. Fuck my life right now.

And NO, more work doesn’t “challenge” or “excite” me. What’s wrong with you people that function like that? You feel a tingle in your special place when you hear the ding of your Outlook inbox? Like a deeply disturbing Pavlovian perversion? GO CHANGE YOUR PANTIES AND LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!! You masochistic, workaholic bastards. My boss says to me “But it’s exciting to be part of something like this, isn’t it?” Yeah, sure. YOU don’t have to be an e-mail gopher or get lung cancer from the volumes of photocopier toner you inhale. You don’t have to trudge through thousands of emails, parsing out what’s relevant. You don’t have to FIGHT with people to get their shit in on time, and always look like the incompetent asshole when (not if) they don’t. You say “key person”, I hear “fall guy”. You say “exciting”, I hear “incredibly stressful”. You say “inviting new team members” I hear “juggling giant egos”.

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT BEING A SECRETARY IS LIKE, OH MY GOD I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS ALL I WANNA DO IS DRAW COMICS GUYS REALLY

COMMENCE PANICKING

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….in which I completely panic

10 thoughts on “….in which I completely panic

  1. Bran MacFeabhail says:

    Get organized, and get it done, so you can have fun at night and on the weekend. ๐Ÿ˜›
    Nothing ever looks bad if it’s organized.

    AND. By asking you do something like this, they trust you to pull it off just fine. Don’t panic. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Or get another, less-demanding job, if that’s what you want out of a day job. It’s only going to get more like this.

      1. Bran MacFeabhail says:

        lol I’m sorry, no judging! it’s going to be okay is all I mean. (You got this!)

  2. Ashtshen says:

    If they’re giving it to you, you can handle it. You don’t have to like it. But you can ask for a raise. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I believe you that being a secretary is no joke. I’m looking for jobs in New York and all the secretary positions look brutal. I can multitask but I can’t do 92384r7923471398492 things at once.

    1. Yeah. If you DO get a position as a secretary, don’t do it for less than 15$ an hour. Anything less is not enough… and don’t let anyone tell you differently: Secretaries actually run the fucking world.

  4. L says:

    Everyone knows secretary jobs are terrible at best. “Challenging and Exciting” is only a way to sugarcoat and to beautify the ugliness that lies underneath the real task. Hang in there.

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